I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
