how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
