that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
