Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
A bitchslap is in order.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
