Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize