My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
