I love black thongs
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
