I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
