you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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