Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
