This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
