READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
