Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
