She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
