Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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