thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
