We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
