Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
