So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
