theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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