dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
