i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
