Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Randomize