oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
The best revenge is premature balding
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
