don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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