why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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