You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
