not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
