My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize