I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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