Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
