My cat gives me a boner
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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