It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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