My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
