I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
