Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
i believe in u and ur pee
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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