I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
