Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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