Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
