Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Randomize
