Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
