i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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