Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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