4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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