So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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