Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
