honey bunches of taint.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
