and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
