____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
