She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
