I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
