Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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