I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
