I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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