genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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