I showed him my bush... on skype.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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