And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
