he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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