I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
