you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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