Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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