I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
