Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
you would pick up someone in the library
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
