I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
